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Gwen's Spot

08 August 2005

Half-Full vs. Half-Empty: In Which Gwen Rants About Split Hairs, And No One Listens

Someone with a very limited one-way-or-the-other mind has apparently decided that whether you say "half-full" or "half-empty" signifies a whole host of things, among them your entire worldview and permission for people who think that they are more intelligent than you to smirk and say "or half-empty" if you say "half-full" or "or half-full" if you say "half-empty," simply because you are trying to communicate the state of approximate equilibrium between air and a fluid in a given container.

Note to whomever it was: Watch out. If I ever find out who you are, I'm coming after you.

Note to all of the people arguing that the glass is too big, or is sufficient, or is "halfway between half-full and half-empty" (I'm not kidding, someone actually said that), thinking that they're funny: You're not.

Note well-meaning people who think they're being funny: You're not either.

Note to the smirking general populace: Enough about the half-full/half-empty thing. You've made your point: There is balance in the universe, we all follow an ever-changing path, and you are so much more clever than the rest of us poor intellects who thought that you could understand with only one of a pair of complementary adjectives what we were talking about.

Whether I say something is half-full or half-empty depends solely on the situation and my conscious choice.

But because, apparently, you couldn't figure out this relatively simple behavioral concept and instead have decided to justify all the money you spent on The Idiot's Guide To Annoying The Heck Out Of People Around You With Stupid Misapplied Psychobabble In The Vain Hope That It Will Make You Look Smart by pushing your stupid black-and-white view of the universe on me, I've made a handy-dandy reference table for you. Scroll down (or press control+end, or whatever) to the bottom of the post to see it, unless, of course, you're lazy, which wouldn't surprise me if you're a member of the aforementioned smirking general populace.

You're back. So, there you go. From now on, whenever I say that something is half-full, or half-empty, or for that matter partly cloudy or partly sunny, or any other half and half combination, you know to just pay attention and get from it that "huh, she says her glass is half-empty" or "the weather is partly sunny" rather than "haha, she must be a pessimist."

In closing, let's remember the probably misquoted words of Maxine- "The glass isn't half-full or half-empty, it's a glass that's already had someone else's germs on it."

How I Am Likely To Describe The State Of The Container
Past progress"Half full""Half empty"
Future progress"Half empty""Half full"

4 Meepage:

Anonymous KathySmith meeped...

Jennifer, it is truly scary inside your head.

08 August, 2005  
Blogger Amanda meeped...

Gee, I wonder where you get it, lol! Now, why don't you tell us what you really think?

09 August, 2005  
Blogger Laura meeped...

Gotta Love Maxine... She usually says it like it is, and is so wonderfully rude about it... Go Maxine! And a special thanks to you Jenn for adding her tasteful comments in your blog. I look forward to more wisdom.

09 August, 2005  
Anonymous SciVille meeped...

Hehe. Great entry! I totally agree. I get annoying people like that too.

10 August, 2005  

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